21st September 2024, 2:20 PM
(This post was last modified: 22nd September 2024, 1:48 AM by Northadox. Edited 2 times in total.)
You might think it's rather petty and childish to still regularly think of forum activity from years ago, but much of it remains on my mind, even all these years later. My time on the original JV, Acid, that one weird forum Flybird had and this new JV still linger in my consciousness, and so too are some of the embarrassing things I did then. Though many of the people in this community have long since moved on, having successful careers, even starting their own families, here I am, musing about some stuff I did on some silly websites long ago. Call this a form of repentance, I suppose. This isn't a goodbye post or anything, just wanted to speak my mind about some stuff.
It's worth mentioning that much of these events occurred when I was young. I joined JV sometime in 2012-2013 when I was ten or eleven years old (I lied about my age, going against COPPA. S-statute of limitations applies though, r-right?). I suppose it's a little cowardly saying that I can attribute my behavior to when I was a stupid kid, still learning how the world works, but it's worth mentioning.
It's also worth mentioning that I didn't always go by "Northadox" here. This community is actually the last place I still use that alias, having settled on it for some seven years. I think it's kind of a clunky name, but it's tradition now. Previously, I went by "SmexxyPlunger", "Dingdaga" and later "Vex", before settling on Northadox.
Onto the statements:
- To those involved in my Roll to Dodge game(s) (I believe they were numbered 3 and 8) which I hosted before the original JV's shutdown, I'm sorry. I recalled being smitten with FinalCheetah's work on those games and I got the illusions of grandeur of hosting my own. I knew nothing about hosting such games, nor did I hold the passion or interest to actually maintain them. Worldbuilding, roleplaying, whatever...I didn't know anything! One day, I couldn't do it anymore, and I abandoned not just the game, but the entire JV forums for awhile. This still irritates me to this day, as when I was interested in returning, the forum was no longer around. I don't remember how long that period was, me leaving and my interest being renewed; few months, half a year, maybe. I unfortunately don't remember all the players I had enlisted, but for those who recall if they were a part of that, I'm sorry.
- I recall making a thread about "astral projection". Astral projection is a pseudoscientific phenomenon that I was fascinated about when I was young, especially after I watched this really tacky YouTuber talk about it. I suppose it was my obsession with mystical knowledge and desire for escapism (at the same time, I was also obsessed with lucid dreaming and even dabbled in a bit of tulpa-making...about the second thing, do not look into that, self-induced hallucinations are not good for you). I made a whole thread about it, as if it was this real, actual thing. A user named Rammjet later made a thread parodying this called "Fecal Projection", mocking my post with scatological humor. In retrospect this was pretty funny.
- Speaking of Rammjet, they were active on these forums long ago (and made some really cool PR2 levels). Notably, Rammjet was rather vocal on the discussion boards, engaging in many a debate, and me, being a young kid who wanted to go against the grain, debated with him from time to time. I tried to pretend to know what I was talking about, desperately grasping at straws or grabbing shaky sources to prove my point, but I still was a young stupid kid who didn't know anything. I recall having a debate about GDP and I didn't even know what that was at the time. Rammjet, if you're reading this, I'm sorry for all of those stupid debates. I didn't know anything, and you likely were in the right about many of them. Nowadays, I try not to get involved in internet debates, because I've noticed nowadays that arguing with someone on the internet never changes their opinion; it's like talking to a brick wall. Even if that fire in you wants to prove someone wrong, I think blabbing about opinions and trying to dissect them never changes their mind. If you want to change someone's opinion, I think it's best to plant the seeds in their mind, and let them experience that thing. That's probably your best bet.
- Around 2015-2017, probably longer, I was obsessed with a certain topical politician, whom you probably know who...keep in mind, I was still several years off from actually being able to vote. I expressed this obsession with sentiments and iconography on these forums (and, embarrassingly, this was also a fascination that persisted into real life, which unfortunately caused schisms in friends and family). Nowadays, I have pretty much zero faith or interest in this person, and do not agree with much of their platform. I think pondering so much about politics and worldly affairs which you cannot meaningfully change or influence makes you a more boring person, and only serves to divide you and the people around you, so I try to not discuss it whatsoever.
- I had a passing interest in the show "King of the Hill" for a time when I was an adolescent and when I was on Acid I made an alt account called "Rusty Shackleford" (if you know, you know), and roleplayed for a time. I am pretty sure this account was swiftly banned for being an alt account. I have no idea what drove me to do this. To ax6, I am sorry for mildly inconveniencing you and probably making you experience second-hand cringe.
That's much of it, out of the way. Feels good. There's probably more cringy things I did, but thank god I've forgotten them, and if they were bad or embarrassing and you were affected by them in someway, my apologies. once again.
Actually, well, this isn't on JV, but I used to frequent the Minecraft forums when I was a literal bab (beta 1.7.3 FTW btw) and I was protesting about something so I left the forum in revolt and I recall calling the people there "fudgers" or some derivative of that because using the **** word was too much for me then. There's that out of the way, at least. Thank god.
I'd like to wrap up this post by saying how much the JV community means to me. This silly forum revolving around being a fan of some guy's Flash games that released more than a decade and a half ago is something I still participate in and think about daily. Why not wrap up this post by saying who inspires me from here?
- Jiggmin/Jacob Grahn, of course. Your games gave me countless hours of entertainment and deep inspiration, as a programmer and an artist. I actually don't think PR2 is your magnum opus, nowadays I think Neverending Light is a game that amazes me most. The really cool shadows in that game, the music, the story being told, the themes of mankind wandering into places they shouldn't. Hot take, but I would rather have a Neverending Light 2 and 3 then a PR4, but I suppose that opportunity has passed long ago. I also recall spending countless hours in Futurism. I really enjoyed that game. I also STILL am incredibly charmed by your Motley Mondays videos. Genuinely really good comedy in some of them, and I feel like I am alone in appreciating them immensely!
- Nedron (who I affectionately called Nerdon). Thank you so much for playing all of those Futurism games with me. I don't remember much else about you, but I recall having a lot of fun, playing that game into the wee hours of the night, using my Kirby-themed deck (against your bug-themed one, if I remember correctly)?
- Player Z (also known as the Silent Artist, maybe?) Your art amazed me, and you and the artist culture on JV is what drove me into drawing. It's actually my greatest passion nowadays; everyday I'm constantly drawing, and commissions are my main source of income. I hope wherever you are now you're happy and pursuing your interests. I really loved your hooded lightning dude. I wish I still had all my drawings from back then, but they were on a hard drive on an old laptop which I've long since misplaced. Still got the memories, at least...
- FinalCheetah, you were a great DM for all of those Roll to Dodge games. I loved that cheetah roll thing too, haha.
- There's probably a few more names of people I recall having positive experiences with (they may or may not still be around), though the memories have faded, I'll list them off...fastfoodcac, Sanzep, Mr. Black and Mr. White (different names now but you get the point), Tank Titanium, Nero, Proclifo, Ringstaart, Residays, Snubb, and NickZil (these are names I am just remembering off of those old JV forum simulator videos! Good times...)
- and, of course, DoTime. life is truly a ?.
I doubt anyone here cares, but there's the post. See ya.
It's worth mentioning that much of these events occurred when I was young. I joined JV sometime in 2012-2013 when I was ten or eleven years old (I lied about my age, going against COPPA. S-statute of limitations applies though, r-right?). I suppose it's a little cowardly saying that I can attribute my behavior to when I was a stupid kid, still learning how the world works, but it's worth mentioning.
It's also worth mentioning that I didn't always go by "Northadox" here. This community is actually the last place I still use that alias, having settled on it for some seven years. I think it's kind of a clunky name, but it's tradition now. Previously, I went by "SmexxyPlunger", "Dingdaga" and later "Vex", before settling on Northadox.
Onto the statements:
- To those involved in my Roll to Dodge game(s) (I believe they were numbered 3 and 8) which I hosted before the original JV's shutdown, I'm sorry. I recalled being smitten with FinalCheetah's work on those games and I got the illusions of grandeur of hosting my own. I knew nothing about hosting such games, nor did I hold the passion or interest to actually maintain them. Worldbuilding, roleplaying, whatever...I didn't know anything! One day, I couldn't do it anymore, and I abandoned not just the game, but the entire JV forums for awhile. This still irritates me to this day, as when I was interested in returning, the forum was no longer around. I don't remember how long that period was, me leaving and my interest being renewed; few months, half a year, maybe. I unfortunately don't remember all the players I had enlisted, but for those who recall if they were a part of that, I'm sorry.
- I recall making a thread about "astral projection". Astral projection is a pseudoscientific phenomenon that I was fascinated about when I was young, especially after I watched this really tacky YouTuber talk about it. I suppose it was my obsession with mystical knowledge and desire for escapism (at the same time, I was also obsessed with lucid dreaming and even dabbled in a bit of tulpa-making...about the second thing, do not look into that, self-induced hallucinations are not good for you). I made a whole thread about it, as if it was this real, actual thing. A user named Rammjet later made a thread parodying this called "Fecal Projection", mocking my post with scatological humor. In retrospect this was pretty funny.
- Speaking of Rammjet, they were active on these forums long ago (and made some really cool PR2 levels). Notably, Rammjet was rather vocal on the discussion boards, engaging in many a debate, and me, being a young kid who wanted to go against the grain, debated with him from time to time. I tried to pretend to know what I was talking about, desperately grasping at straws or grabbing shaky sources to prove my point, but I still was a young stupid kid who didn't know anything. I recall having a debate about GDP and I didn't even know what that was at the time. Rammjet, if you're reading this, I'm sorry for all of those stupid debates. I didn't know anything, and you likely were in the right about many of them. Nowadays, I try not to get involved in internet debates, because I've noticed nowadays that arguing with someone on the internet never changes their opinion; it's like talking to a brick wall. Even if that fire in you wants to prove someone wrong, I think blabbing about opinions and trying to dissect them never changes their mind. If you want to change someone's opinion, I think it's best to plant the seeds in their mind, and let them experience that thing. That's probably your best bet.
- Around 2015-2017, probably longer, I was obsessed with a certain topical politician, whom you probably know who...keep in mind, I was still several years off from actually being able to vote. I expressed this obsession with sentiments and iconography on these forums (and, embarrassingly, this was also a fascination that persisted into real life, which unfortunately caused schisms in friends and family). Nowadays, I have pretty much zero faith or interest in this person, and do not agree with much of their platform. I think pondering so much about politics and worldly affairs which you cannot meaningfully change or influence makes you a more boring person, and only serves to divide you and the people around you, so I try to not discuss it whatsoever.
- I had a passing interest in the show "King of the Hill" for a time when I was an adolescent and when I was on Acid I made an alt account called "Rusty Shackleford" (if you know, you know), and roleplayed for a time. I am pretty sure this account was swiftly banned for being an alt account. I have no idea what drove me to do this. To ax6, I am sorry for mildly inconveniencing you and probably making you experience second-hand cringe.
That's much of it, out of the way. Feels good. There's probably more cringy things I did, but thank god I've forgotten them, and if they were bad or embarrassing and you were affected by them in someway, my apologies. once again.
Actually, well, this isn't on JV, but I used to frequent the Minecraft forums when I was a literal bab (beta 1.7.3 FTW btw) and I was protesting about something so I left the forum in revolt and I recall calling the people there "fudgers" or some derivative of that because using the **** word was too much for me then. There's that out of the way, at least. Thank god.
I'd like to wrap up this post by saying how much the JV community means to me. This silly forum revolving around being a fan of some guy's Flash games that released more than a decade and a half ago is something I still participate in and think about daily. Why not wrap up this post by saying who inspires me from here?
- Jiggmin/Jacob Grahn, of course. Your games gave me countless hours of entertainment and deep inspiration, as a programmer and an artist. I actually don't think PR2 is your magnum opus, nowadays I think Neverending Light is a game that amazes me most. The really cool shadows in that game, the music, the story being told, the themes of mankind wandering into places they shouldn't. Hot take, but I would rather have a Neverending Light 2 and 3 then a PR4, but I suppose that opportunity has passed long ago. I also recall spending countless hours in Futurism. I really enjoyed that game. I also STILL am incredibly charmed by your Motley Mondays videos. Genuinely really good comedy in some of them, and I feel like I am alone in appreciating them immensely!
- Nedron (who I affectionately called Nerdon). Thank you so much for playing all of those Futurism games with me. I don't remember much else about you, but I recall having a lot of fun, playing that game into the wee hours of the night, using my Kirby-themed deck (against your bug-themed one, if I remember correctly)?
- Player Z (also known as the Silent Artist, maybe?) Your art amazed me, and you and the artist culture on JV is what drove me into drawing. It's actually my greatest passion nowadays; everyday I'm constantly drawing, and commissions are my main source of income. I hope wherever you are now you're happy and pursuing your interests. I really loved your hooded lightning dude. I wish I still had all my drawings from back then, but they were on a hard drive on an old laptop which I've long since misplaced. Still got the memories, at least...
- FinalCheetah, you were a great DM for all of those Roll to Dodge games. I loved that cheetah roll thing too, haha.
- There's probably a few more names of people I recall having positive experiences with (they may or may not still be around), though the memories have faded, I'll list them off...fastfoodcac, Sanzep, Mr. Black and Mr. White (different names now but you get the point), Tank Titanium, Nero, Proclifo, Ringstaart, Residays, Snubb, and NickZil (these are names I am just remembering off of those old JV forum simulator videos! Good times...)
- and, of course, DoTime. life is truly a ?.
I doubt anyone here cares, but there's the post. See ya.
![[Image: aGf8Xvh.png]](https://i.imgur.com/aGf8Xvh.png)
