5th December 2017, 3:29 PM
Reading this twice, I feel like I'm missing the link between the title of this thread, "Positive Thinking" and how emotions are a weakness; to be denied and hidden. I think you're making the case that thinking "positive" means to deny emotions. If my interpretation is wrong, feel free to correct me.
If I may, I would like to offer a counter perspective. This is my personal experience and it's not intended to invalidate yours. For many years, living under my dad, he was one of the key sources of my pain, shame, and anxiety, but it wasn't until a few months ago to realize this. Right out of high school, I got a job, didn't pay much, but what was first an opportunity to save up for myself turned into 3 years of giving 100% of my earnings to him. On top of that, I was socially isolated. Days were simply wake up, go to work, work hard, go home, and give away my labour like it was nothing. During this time, I shut myself off emotionally. Giving acknowledgement to emotions meant acknowledging the pain and I was so scared to feel that pain. But nonetheless, I was miserable. Hiding my emotions turned into toxic internal shame. This shame put chains over my mental well-being. Yes, the it was far easier to escape reality by denying the elephant in the room. But it's in my personal experience that it only goes so far until you snap. I moved out and starting saving finally, started college, and have been hanging out with friends at least once a week. My emotions were telling me the whole time that something was wrong, but I was stubborn to not listen. Deny, deny, deny.
So here's my assessment. Often times, when pain is experienced, we often avoid it as much as possible, sometimes for good reason. But avoiding and escaping is merely a bandaid solution and only gets more painful to rip off the longer it stays. I personally think it's best to view emotions as both helpful and degrading. You shouldn't wallow in negative emotions nor should you put up a facade of positive feelings in order to deny whatever's bothering you. It's ideal to learn how to work with them. This is why services like therapy is essential. Pro athletes need coaches still in order maintain their skills, right? Therapy is like your personal coach to help maintain your mental health. It's not something to be ashamed of; facing things alone gives you limited tools, but having someone else help you navigate what things you go through helps to shape different thought processes, usually for the better. Now I'm not saying therapy is the one and only thing necessary for learning to work with your emotions, but it's not a bad starting point.
What I'm getting at is that there should be, ideally, a more balanced perspective on how you weigh these emotions. It's usually when something traumatic or hurtful happens to us do we lean towards a reactionary way of dealing with it; it takes practice to learn how to be more centered.
If I may, I would like to offer a counter perspective. This is my personal experience and it's not intended to invalidate yours. For many years, living under my dad, he was one of the key sources of my pain, shame, and anxiety, but it wasn't until a few months ago to realize this. Right out of high school, I got a job, didn't pay much, but what was first an opportunity to save up for myself turned into 3 years of giving 100% of my earnings to him. On top of that, I was socially isolated. Days were simply wake up, go to work, work hard, go home, and give away my labour like it was nothing. During this time, I shut myself off emotionally. Giving acknowledgement to emotions meant acknowledging the pain and I was so scared to feel that pain. But nonetheless, I was miserable. Hiding my emotions turned into toxic internal shame. This shame put chains over my mental well-being. Yes, the it was far easier to escape reality by denying the elephant in the room. But it's in my personal experience that it only goes so far until you snap. I moved out and starting saving finally, started college, and have been hanging out with friends at least once a week. My emotions were telling me the whole time that something was wrong, but I was stubborn to not listen. Deny, deny, deny.
So here's my assessment. Often times, when pain is experienced, we often avoid it as much as possible, sometimes for good reason. But avoiding and escaping is merely a bandaid solution and only gets more painful to rip off the longer it stays. I personally think it's best to view emotions as both helpful and degrading. You shouldn't wallow in negative emotions nor should you put up a facade of positive feelings in order to deny whatever's bothering you. It's ideal to learn how to work with them. This is why services like therapy is essential. Pro athletes need coaches still in order maintain their skills, right? Therapy is like your personal coach to help maintain your mental health. It's not something to be ashamed of; facing things alone gives you limited tools, but having someone else help you navigate what things you go through helps to shape different thought processes, usually for the better. Now I'm not saying therapy is the one and only thing necessary for learning to work with your emotions, but it's not a bad starting point.
What I'm getting at is that there should be, ideally, a more balanced perspective on how you weigh these emotions. It's usually when something traumatic or hurtful happens to us do we lean towards a reactionary way of dealing with it; it takes practice to learn how to be more centered.
