15th February 2024, 5:34 PM
When I get upset, my instinct is to remove myself from the situation. To de-escalate. Clearly, their action was taken in a moment where they aren't feeling well and aren't thinking clearly. Otherwise, that would make my decision in this case easy. Theoretically, I would take time to cool down and to process what happened and how I felt about it before confronting them. In my case, this has only happened with people I was in a position to easily part ways with them, and that is the action I took. I've ended relationships and friendships several times in the past like this. Why would I want someone in my life who thinks that it is ok to treat me like that? I think in most of the cases, their actions were specifically intended to end the relationship, they just lacked the maturity to express their intentions in a mature way. I dont need to lash out at them or get revenge. I need to move forward without them. They aren't worth my time or energy.
On the issue of sexual assault, I'm not saying that it doesnt matter. I was talking in the context of "ultimate disrespect". Another person grabbing at me without consent is disrespectful, but it is not about me. The type of person who is doing that is immature and pathetic. Consider their motives. They are doing it because they want to feel powerful, or they incorrectly consider it flirting. Either way, this person is incapable of "the ultimate disrespect". They are a sad, pathetic, and in every case ive been involved in, drunk.
I think a big part of why they are doing it is to illicit a reaction. If they can get a rise out of me, it makes them feel more powerful. If you feel safe and really want to get them, give them the opposite. Make them feel small, but dont let them show that they have gotten to you. If it is a risky situation, "Grey Rock" them. Ignore them. At least until you can get to a safe place and report their behavior to the correct people. If they dont allow you to remove yourself from the situation, and you have already asked them to stop, that is where self defense comes in. Use violence to create space between you that gives you a chance to get out of there. My safety matters more than "defending my honor" to someone who's opinion means 0 to me. Especially after their actions.
In my experiences, I've only had this happen when I've been with friends and they have noticed, and immediately helped create space. I have always been blessed with great friends.
On the issue of sexual assault, I'm not saying that it doesnt matter. I was talking in the context of "ultimate disrespect". Another person grabbing at me without consent is disrespectful, but it is not about me. The type of person who is doing that is immature and pathetic. Consider their motives. They are doing it because they want to feel powerful, or they incorrectly consider it flirting. Either way, this person is incapable of "the ultimate disrespect". They are a sad, pathetic, and in every case ive been involved in, drunk.
I think a big part of why they are doing it is to illicit a reaction. If they can get a rise out of me, it makes them feel more powerful. If you feel safe and really want to get them, give them the opposite. Make them feel small, but dont let them show that they have gotten to you. If it is a risky situation, "Grey Rock" them. Ignore them. At least until you can get to a safe place and report their behavior to the correct people. If they dont allow you to remove yourself from the situation, and you have already asked them to stop, that is where self defense comes in. Use violence to create space between you that gives you a chance to get out of there. My safety matters more than "defending my honor" to someone who's opinion means 0 to me. Especially after their actions.
In my experiences, I've only had this happen when I've been with friends and they have noticed, and immediately helped create space. I have always been blessed with great friends.
