16th February 2024, 4:43 PM
(16th February 2024, 8:20 AM)Delphinoid_ Wrote: I think the reason why I in particular find it strange to refer to any of these as disrespectful is because my response to being the victim of physical or sexual assault isn't thinking that I haven't received the kind of treatment I feel entitled to. It doesn't hurt because I feel like this random person isn't treating me how I feel I deserve to be treated; it hurts because it's physically painful, because it makes me feel uncomfortable, because it's gross or disgusting, etc.
I would say it depends on the situation. Yes, your emotions are violated during the process, which would then make you feel uncomfortable. But, this is regarding a situation where they've initiated a behavior that you don't approve of. They wouldn't just approach you and randomly slap you... something had to have initiated their behavior. Here's an example (I see this happening all the time at fast food joints): You order something, the employees screw up your order after you've received it, you then politely confront them about the issue, but then the employees refuse to correct it and display an ugly attitude towards you.
So then what happens next, you asked?... they get into an argument with you for about 5 minutes and they haul off and slap you. It's disrespectful because first of all, they had no business putting their hands on you in the first place. Second, you don't treat customers that way because then they could just decide to eat elsewhere. It really depends on the situation, bro.
(16th February 2024, 8:20 AM)Delphinoid_ Wrote: As for the 5th item, I think it deserves some clarification. If it refers to someone sleeping with my hypothetical significant other without their consent (i.e. rape), then my feelings are totally irrelevant, it's my partner's feelings that matter. If my partner did consent to it, I would feel extremely hurt by my partner and break up with them as soon as possible for abusing my trust. That being said, in both cases I find that 1. the mysterious 3rd party who slept with my hypothetical partner does not matter at all and 2. I still wouldn't be viewing this through the lens of (dis)respect.
The fifth item refers to your partner fully consenting to sleeping with a stranger even though they were in a relationship with you. It really is disrespectful because like you said before, your feelings were hurt, your trust was abused, and your partner acted as though you didn't even matter to them. Not only are your boundaries broken, but your partner just showed you the authentic side of them. I know it's difficult to view these things as disrespectful, but trust me, they're very disrespectful.
(16th February 2024, 8:20 AM)Delphinoid_ Wrote: I think I've been talking a lot without saying very much. On a different note to the above, I'm having trouble thinking of a time when I explicitly felt disrespected... to be honest "disrespect" is not a word I really like to use very much anymore. There have definitely been many times where people have made me feel hurt by abusing my trust or extremely uncomfortable by repeatedly ignoring my personal boundaries, but I never really felt disrespected in those scenarios. I also definitely didn't respond with anger either.
Yeah, that's 100% disrespectful, bro. If they do those things to you, then it's time to find some new friends because otherwise, the behavior that they're giving you is going to persist, especially if you don't say anything to them. Basically, they're saying that you're worthless and your feelings are irrelevant to them. That's like someone using you as a doormat and stepping all over you with their filthy, muddy shoes.
You have every right to be angry and raise your voice at them. Remember, your personal boundaries were attacked; therefore, this opens the door for you to lash out at them. I'm not sure how it is in your country, so forgive me if I'm wrong, but over here in America, it's a different tone. You know what starts to happen? All these past memories of repeatedly having your boundaries stepped on, eventually triggers an angry response out of you. C'mon bro, there had to have been one time before, where you thought enough was enough, and you've felt disrespected.
