18th February 2024, 6:45 AM
(18th February 2024, 2:01 AM)Different Wrote: It's never ok to live in fear, trust me. By standing up for yourself (including your loved ones), you're setting a good example of what a real man is supposed to be like. As a man, your job is to protect your loved ones, not hide in fear. If you hide in fear, people are going to disrespect you just for that. Every time you avoid your problems, God will always make sure that you'll face them eventually until you learn to deal with them.
If you saw your best friend getting beat up by somebody, are you going to jump in and fight the guy, or run away and allow him to wail on him like that?
For starters, "being a man" has nothing to do with anything. I don't know if it's accurate or not, but what you're saying sounds like it's rooted in an intense insecurity. The impression I'm getting is that you stand up for yourself and protect your loved ones at least in part because you think this will make others see you as a "real man". I disagree with this mindset.
Being a man has nothing to do with anything. It's everyone's responsibility to protect their loved ones. It's also ok for people, men included, to be afraid; fear is a natural and healthy human reaction. "Living in fear" is obviously another thing entirely, but I don't think anyone is talking about debilitating amounts of fear.
To clarify, I believe that everyone should stand up for themselves (not just men, and not just to set a good example for others). That said, throwing your weight around and yelling at people is NOT standing up for yourself. Standing up for yourself means being authentic; not being afraid to say no to people, being open about your boundaries and how you feel (but not in an aggressive or threatening way - it's important to give other people the benefit of the doubt), and so on. Obviously this is important because people aren't mind-readers. The goal of standing up for yourself is to let other people know how you genuinely feel rather than immediately yielding to their whim. If you're getting aggressive, you're not standing up for yourself, you're just being a bully.
I personally would never "jump in to fight" someone, ever. I'd try to get the guy off him or put myself between them. I disagree with fighting people full-stop. Because I don't believe in hurting others under any circumstances, my goal would be to redirect the guy's aggression towards myself. If I can get someone to beat me to death instead of my friend, that's honestly good enough for me. But ideally one should try to prevent these kinds of situations at all cost, since again, no one wins.
