Let's get this thread to a million pages!

[Mia]

Ok, enough yammering about that! Look at the mall fountain!

[Mia]

Why is the centerpiece a statue of a peeing alligator?

[Mia]

Gus the Gator: Oh, I am not a statue. I couldn't hold it any longer.

[Mia]

...Let's get the heck out of this mall.

[Mia]

Don't you want to go shopping at JC Penney first?

[Mia]

Not if it's as filthy as the rest of the mall!

[Mia]

Yeah, what's the deal? Doesn't this mall have a janitor?

[Mia]

Gus the Gator: Oh, I am the janitor. What's the problem?

[Mia]

What's the problem??? You're the janitor and you're peeing in the fountain!!!

[Mia]

Gus the Gator: Who cares? I'm an alligator, I'm used to peeing in water.

[Mia]

But it's unsanitary and disgusting!

[Mia]

Gus the Gator: How? It's not like I'm peeing on the floor where people walk.

[Mia]

You have a point, but I still say it's disgusting doing that in public!

[Mia]

Gus the Gator: Well if someone would thank me for cleaning the bathrooms, maybe I would use them.

[Mia]

But the bathrooms are filthy! I went there right when we came in!

[Mia]

Gus the Gator: Well if people would thank me, maybe I would clean them!

[Mia]

Just how on Earth did pee get on the ceiling??? I used my glow in the dark light

[Mia]

Gus the Gator: Do I look like I keep track of where people pee?

[Mia]

Obviously not if you're going into a public fountain.

[Mia]

Gus the Gator: Look, I'll go check the security tapes at the end of the shift and see who it was.