THE GRIPS OF DEATH!

[Different]

If you don't do anything else, read this thread and leave a comment because I can promise you that you're not going to get anything even remotely close to this on JV. If you're tired of lurking around reading the same ole crap from other threads, then please read this. Everybody can relate to this.

Do you ever feel like you can't even breathe, or your anxiety is so overwhelming that you feel like you're going to faint? Or even worse... you feel like you're going to die! Your blood pressure is running sky-high, you've got sweat glands dripping through your legs, you're shaking in fear, and you can't even move! Just imagine some asshole used to make your life so miserable that you go through life loathing yourself because you're constantly wondering what you did wrong. No one taught you how to defend yourself, so when the feeling of being completely helpless takes over, you freeze up like a coward and accept the ass whoopin' because you're overthinking all the factors of what might happen if you fight back.

Just imagine asking your crush out on a date for the first time, but no one ever taught you how to do so or even teach you about how relationships work. So your subconscious mind plants a dark seed, deep within you so you'll grow up being traumatized with overthinking simplistic things too much, or you develop a lack of confidence with talking to girls. You begin to do strange things like stalking her waiting for the perfect moment to ask her out, stare at her all day hoping she'll make the first move, or you sit still like a tree and do nothing because your heart is racing so fast that you can't even think straight.

Or even worse: you think she's too hot and way out of your league to ask out on a date. So, every time she's in your presence, you say something totally dumb leading her to think you're retarded. Then just when you thought it couldn't get worse, you end up wetting yourself in front of her because your childhood trauma overpowered you so much, that you couldn't even think straight; so embarrassing! So then, she walks away and finds a man that outclasses you in every way possible, while you tuck your tail between your legs going home loathing yourself even more because you took a huge L on this one, especially during adulthood. All this can cause you to grow up being a virgin who's never kissed a girl before. You see, it's so easy to place the blame on all these other factors except for ourselves.

This can be related to self-doubt where you're constantly questioning whether you're even good enough for relationships in the first place. Friends and family are constantly questioning why you're still single, or your parents keep harassing you about grandchildren. THE GRIPS OF DEATH comes in where you're stressed out and pressured over doing something that's completely out of your comfort zone, so you feel like there's no space to breathe around people who don't even understand where you're coming from; they think you're strange.

Going through this kind of thing (or anything else) can be a nightmare because your childhood trauma can prevent you from doing something that's normal to everybody else, so you completely isolate yourself from the public feeling overshadowed by people who make the things that you can't do, look so smooth. Or how about becoming an introvert because you're afraid of what others might think of you.

Now, I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with being an introvert, nor am I saying that that's the only reason why people become one in the first place. But, what I am saying is that there is a strong possibility that some people do suffer from some horrendous, childhood trauma circumstances, which could possibly be one of the reasons why they choose to become an introvert. For example, you might have heard someone tell you that you're a piece of shit who'll never seek relationships, find any friends because you're not good enough, lose weight, or even grow a set and fight your demons because you're a pussy to them, right? Hearing that all your life can cause major problems when you grow up. One of those problems can be quite suicidal!

I can't breathe! I can't breathe! I can't breathe! The demons got those massive, baseball glove hands wrapped around your throat, constantly squeezing the life out of you every time you even think about trying something out of your comfort zone. The more you try to fight back, the more you end up getting your ass kicked, every time. Someone or something stepped up to the plate and challenged you for once. Your conscious mind is thinking, "hell yeah, let's do this!" Your subconscious mind is thinking, "you better sit your ass down! Don't be a fool!" At that moment, a substantial amount of anxiety juices up and runs through your veins like black venom. Your demons are feeding off that delicious fear building massive amounts of energy and making you miss out on massive opportunities in life. Then you'll be an old man or old woman thinking, "damn it, why didn't I just go for it!"

How about if you're one of those goofballs who's injured themselves in the shower, or you've injured yourself in a way that's way too embarrassing to discuss with anyone. So when confronted about it, you then shrug it off and say that it's a sports-related injury to maintain your manliness and avoid losing testosterone because you want to be one of the boys who gets girls all the time. If the truth ever came out, you would be labeled all kinds of colorful names based on your personality alone.

Everyone is laughing at you, so you begin to avoid tolerating these things, ending up clinically depressed and lonely because you've got this tight grip around your throat that revolves around personal issues. Even at night, you can't sleep and you're caught in sleep paralysis where your nightmares are playing out your childhood traumas like a tape recorder. You try to scream for help, but there's no one around to save you because you can barely breathe or speak.

Spoiler

If you've ever suffered from one of these horrendous, childhood traumas before, then you know just what I'm talking about. It plays out in our lives almost everyday. Just the feeling of being completely helpless, or you see someone being abused or crying, and you can't do anything about it because you're too apprehensive of what might happen to you. Your conscious mind is saying, "get up and do something about it, dummy!" The demons are saying, "shut the hell up, coward! Stay out of people's business because you're too weak and spineless for this fight!" The demons will attack your subconscious mind because that's ultimately the boss of your daily decisions.

All these childhood trauma circumstances can lead you into thinking that you really are a piece of shit who's an NPC (non-playable character). So then you start making mistakes somewhere in life, and then people begin to make fun of you. Once that happens, you'll probably become a drug addict, an alcoholic, or find some sort of addiction to ease the pain and trauma because you feel like there's no other solution after walking in total darkness.

Don't be afraid to open up and share your childhood trauma circumstances on this thread. I've had one before where I was very uncomfortable with public speaking. As I got older, I grew extremely exhausted of it, so I decided to take public speaking classes to deal with it.

I noticed there's way too many threads on JV related to Pr2, but they don't last very long because they're not really IRL debatable topics.

Spoiler

[Mia]

My whole childhood was a nightmare, I'd rather not get into specific details. But it made me very anxious and difficult to make friends or form relationships. I've always kind of used the internet as an escape from reality. I think I have made some progress as I grew older, but it's still pretty difficult for me to initiate conversations or open up to people.

[Janelle]

Eh, I love my parents and know they'd do anything and everything for me. However, their relationship had some really rocky roads as I was growing up.

I think because of that, I've had a hard time with relationships as I grew older, thinking people would always leave (AKA Abandonment issues). I tried going to therapy this year, as I was really struggling after the death of my best friend earlier this year, but, unfortunately the funds were not there quite yet.