Choose Tenderness
This letter is not an apology, a request, or an attempt to be seen. This is me letting go.
I cannot erase the versions of me that caused harm. The only thing I can do now is to outgrow them.
To the Dark One. I cannot be a part of your life. I have made my peace with that fact a long time ago. I have made you many promises, the goal of all of them clear. I want to be a better person. I want to keep improving. I don't want to stop improving. Thanks to you, I learned how to be a kinder person to others and I learned to be good and true to my word. You do not have to forgive me. The promises I keep will now no longer be chains that prevent me from trying to find a place where I can exist. I choose to live.
To the Light One. I cannot be a part of your life, either. This boundary exists whether I like it or not. I wish I could have shown you who I am now. You have taught me how to find the light in others and to keep it alive. And you have taught me to be tender. It is thanks to the light that I grew a heart. My heart now belongs in the future. You don't have to be here to see who I become. This tenderness will not be wasted.
To the Magic One. I wish my tenderness had come sooner. You have allowed me to become a small part of your life again and you have taught me that it is okay to seek happiness. It is okay that you forgot about me, because the memories I make with you from here on will only be positive. I will always be here for you. Anything to help you find the silly again.
To the Quiet One. I wish I had known then what I know now. I also cannot be a part of your life. That's okay. You taught me how to care about other people. You don't need to worry about me. I will carry your thoughtfulness with me everywhere I go. Thank you for believing in me when I couldn't believe in myself.
I have held on for too long, and my heart grew dark and tough. No more. I choose tenderness. I choose to live with a soft heart. I will always grieve the loss of all of you, and what could have been. As tough as my mind has been on me, all it has been doing has been trying to give me peace. I'm safe now. I cannot let the loop repeat in my mind forever. I won't forget, but I'm going to do my best to move on. Wherever you go, please be safe.
It means everything.
Minimania
This letter is not an apology, a request, or an attempt to be seen. This is me letting go.
I cannot erase the versions of me that caused harm. The only thing I can do now is to outgrow them.
To the Dark One. I cannot be a part of your life. I have made my peace with that fact a long time ago. I have made you many promises, the goal of all of them clear. I want to be a better person. I want to keep improving. I don't want to stop improving. Thanks to you, I learned how to be a kinder person to others and I learned to be good and true to my word. You do not have to forgive me. The promises I keep will now no longer be chains that prevent me from trying to find a place where I can exist. I choose to live.
To the Light One. I cannot be a part of your life, either. This boundary exists whether I like it or not. I wish I could have shown you who I am now. You have taught me how to find the light in others and to keep it alive. And you have taught me to be tender. It is thanks to the light that I grew a heart. My heart now belongs in the future. You don't have to be here to see who I become. This tenderness will not be wasted.
To the Magic One. I wish my tenderness had come sooner. You have allowed me to become a small part of your life again and you have taught me that it is okay to seek happiness. It is okay that you forgot about me, because the memories I make with you from here on will only be positive. I will always be here for you. Anything to help you find the silly again.
To the Quiet One. I wish I had known then what I know now. I also cannot be a part of your life. That's okay. You taught me how to care about other people. You don't need to worry about me. I will carry your thoughtfulness with me everywhere I go. Thank you for believing in me when I couldn't believe in myself.
I have held on for too long, and my heart grew dark and tough. No more. I choose tenderness. I choose to live with a soft heart. I will always grieve the loss of all of you, and what could have been. As tough as my mind has been on me, all it has been doing has been trying to give me peace. I'm safe now. I cannot let the loop repeat in my mind forever. I won't forget, but I'm going to do my best to move on. Wherever you go, please be safe.
It means everything.
Minimania
