SPEAKING VS. WRITING ✍️ ? ?

[Different]

Listen, we all have strengthens and weaknesses that we carry around with us on a daily basis. Sometimes we’re not even aware of it until someone discovers it through some, inadvertent scenario. You’d be surprised to know and learn more about yourself through inadvertent scenarios, or even someone forcing you out of your comfort zone. One on one conversations isn’t always the easiest. So I guess you can say this is why you hear a lot of people tell you that they prefer written communications with someone as opposed to speaking in person; direct communication can be quite uncomfortable and intimidating because you’re so heavily focused on landing that first impression on someone.

I can tell you from experience that I do not speak the same way that I write. I may sound very intellectual online, but that’s only because I’m naturally a good writer and I had to think about what to say, what words to use, and how I’m going to convey my messages to you guys. IRL, if you and I were to bump into each other at a coffee shop or something, then my conversations with you would be different. I’m one of those guys who doesn’t quickly come up with things to say off the top of his head in person. I’m also not someone who can carry on an interesting conversation for hours (in person). You can probably expect to hear the dreaded ums, uhhs, you knows, and perhaps the likes because I’m guilty of using filler words to complete my sentences. It’s a bad habit that I’m learning to grow out of.

You should also know that I’m not very good at explaining stuff to people in person. Online, there’s all sorts of sources that I can do my research on and take advantage of to help me explain something. But in person, if you lack communication skills then you’re going to have a difficult time retrieving information from your long-term memory because you’re feeling so pressured and anxious not to say the wrong thing or stutter. This is also the reason why people prefer to be introverts rather than hanging around their peers every weekend.

You understand how communication works, and you’re smart enough to have an articulate conversation with someone. But when the time comes to meet them during a job interview, a first date, or even just hanging out somewhere, then you freeze up. Why? Because you’re not used to being sociable, your anxiety kicks into high gear, and you’re far too concerned with what they think of you and how you come across to them. This paints the negative notion in your mind telling you that you’re not good enough.

You could easily sit there and think about how you’re going to explain something to me online through social media. But IRL, don’t let me find out that the way you write online doesn’t align with the way you speak to others in person. You see what I’m saying? So at the end of the day, it’s so convenient to glue our asses to that chair behind a computer desk and chat all day long, but then once we meet in person, it’s a totally different tone. With some of us, conversations may not exactly be delivered to one another in the same way as communicating with each other online.

[Camer the Dragon]

IRL is tough generally, but if it's for something specific like a job interview I can prep and it's generally fine
Online discussion and writing are easier for me to do (especially where you don't have to be as formal etc.)

[Different]

IRL is tough generally, but if it's for something specific like a job interview I can prep and it's generally fine
Online discussion and writing are easier for me to do (especially where you don't have to be as formal etc.)

So talk to me about the filler words. Do you ever use them whenever you’re speaking to someone in person or during a job interview… or is it something that you try your best to avoid because it’s awkward or something like that?

[~JBG~]

Most of the time I'd rather avoid talking at all online or otherwise haha

Used to have trouble speaking to people I know and random strangers that wanted strike up a chat but have more or less gotten over it now. (Lots of strange people randomly walk up to me wanting to speak)

[Different]

Most of the time I'd rather avoid talking at all online or otherwise haha

Used to have trouble speaking to people I know and random strangers that wanted strike up a chat but have more or less gotten over it now. (Lots of strange people randomly walk up to me wanting to speak)

Oh man, I know the feeling because my friend used to get irritated with me for barely talking to her because she felt like she was doing most of the talking lol. Whenever I did say some things, it wouldn’t last very long. She’d also get on my case for sticking to the same subject over and over again.

I just flaked out on a job interview yesterday that would have paid me $5k a month. It sounds stupid but I lacked confidence and didn’t think that I could do it.

[Master Raiden]

Yeah, I am way better at communicating by text than I am speaking in person, unless I am very excited or enthusiastic about something.

Having time to think about what you want to say and how you want to say it makes a big difference. Even a few seconds can make a difference, but most of the time, we can't afford to wait that long. If someone asked you a question in-person and you waited 5 seconds before responding, it would be awkward. So you have to be really quick.

It's kinda like bullet chess vs classical chess. When you're forced to act without having any time to think, you probably won't be as good.

But I've noticed that even the best speakers or the most social people still slip up when they speak, and it's not really that big of a deal. If you can get your message across, then that is usually good enough.

[Master Raiden]

I just flaked out on a job interview yesterday that would have paid me $5k a month. It sounds stupid but I lacked confidence and didn’t think that I could do it.

Damn, that sucks. But you don't really have anything to lose by going, except a bit of time. If anything, you can use it as practice.

I screwed up massively in my last job interview. My mind went blank after one of the questions and I just sat there in silence not knowing what to say for 20+ seconds. It was so awkward and I thought it was over. But I still got the job and I am working there to this day.

Just remember that if you make it to the stage where you get offered an interview, they already think you're really good. When most jobs have over 100 applicants, you are probably in the Top 5% at that point.

[Different]

Damn, that sucks. But you don't really have anything to lose by going, except a bit of time. If anything, you can use it as practice.

I screwed up massively in my last job interview. My mind went blank after one of the questions and I just sat there in silence not knowing what to say for 20+ seconds. It was so awkward and I thought it was over. But I still got the job and I am working there to this day.

Just remember that if you make it to the stage where you get offered an interview, they already think you're really good. When most jobs have over 100 applicants, you are probably in the Top 5% at that point.

Yeah, looking back at it now, part of me wishes I would have just done it anyway. The resume looked impressive, but it’s the whole, “tell me about a time when”, interview questions that really trips me up.

20+ seconds?? Oh boy, I can imagine how brutal that would be for anyone to experience. At least you didn’t use any filler words like the ums, uhhs, and ya knows, I hope.

But yeah, next time I’m just going to go ahead and do it. They actually reached out to me through email after seeing my resume on Ziprecruiter. It was a Microsoft office job. I had studied for it for 2 days and still chicken out. Initially, they wanted to do the interview, immediately after they contacted me. I definitely don’t like impromptu interviews.

[JEEJAYEM]

I screwed up massively in my last job interview. My mind went blank after one of the questions and I just sat there in silence not knowing what to say for 20+ seconds. It was so awkward and I thought it was over. But I still got the job and I am working there to this day.

although it feels awkward, sitting there in silence > BSing a response and talking just to talk IMO

and you got the job so thats proof of that