I've been scared into silence for 10 years. I have been wallowing in regret for 7. Maybe some of you know of me, but it's fine if you don't. If that's all you're here for, then just take this as a lesson. Do not choose to be evil. It will ruin your life and the regrets will linger even when nothing is wrong anymore. I make this post as a last ditch effort to find closure in the life I've led. Know that I am not seeking pity. If none of this applies to you, then take this as a means of telling what happened to me. If you don't care, that's okay too. I genuinely hope you lead a happy and fulfilling life.

Here's a little bit of context, but I will purposefully keep everything incredibly vague. And I'll go in chronological order.

• At 13, I met someone who I saw as a hero. If you've ever heard the mantra "Never meet your heroes", well, I wish it applied here.
  

• At 14, I wanted to help my hero re-obtain something he had lost. At the time, I didn't realize that in doing so I would be wronging a number of people. 
  

• At 14, my hero had trained me to think of those people as obstacles.
  

• At 14, I entered into an inappropriate sexually-charged relationship with an adult. 
  

• At 14, my efforts to help my hero re-obtain something he had lost blew up. My efforts were reversed, and I was rightfully exiled for my actions. I chose to become a scapegoat so that the hero would not take the fall.
  

• At 15, I realized that what I had done was wrong. But also at 15, I had believed that those people were evil.
  

• At 15, I made another plan to help my hero. With this, I fell out of favor of my hero. 
  

• At 15, he caused a rift between me and my friends, as well as the person I was in a relationship with. This was probably done as an act of vengeance, but he inadvertently saved me from being groomed. 
  

• At 16, I met someone he "helped" in the past in a similar way to how he "helped" me.
  

• At 16, I became friends with my hero again. I planned with him in secret to help him re-obtain that lost thing again. 
  

• At 16, I took on a new "appearance". I pretended to be someone that I'm not. I put on a fake personality to match.
  

• At 16, that fake identity was ousted. I yet again decided to be my hero's scapegoat. 
  

• At 16, my hero threatened to cut communications with me unless I performed a series of "roleplays" with him, in which I would pretend to be my fake personality and he would "get romantic" with that character. At this time, he was older than my groomer was when my groomer was in a relationship with me. I felt uncomfortable, so I could never bring myself to fulfill what he really wanted from all of it. So he cut contact with me. And I cried because I loved him.
  

• At 17, I stopped thinking about the people I wroned as villains.
  

• At 17, my hero approached me about a business opportunity. Among the project's team were others that I had wronged in the past, people that genuinely hated me and for good reason. I was excited to further the project's goals. And I genuinely wanted to work on it. I was given a very threatening warning by my hero not to rock the boat. In the first place, I didn't want to.
  

• At 17, I invited the someone I met that he "helped" in the past to view the project. That inflamed everything and the project blew up. So the boat got rocked anyway. I was made a scapegoat again. Everyone stopped talking to me, some for good.
  

• Since 17, I have been unhealthily living in regret. There hasn't been a day that has gone by where I haven't thought about all of the terrible things I've done.
  

• Since 17, one of the people I have wronged passed away. And ever since then, I've become obsessive about apologizing to the people that I've wronged, because I missed my chance to apologize to that person. I avoided apologizing to everyone because I no longer wished to be a nuisance to them. But with some help, I realized that I should just suck it up and apologize to those people if I truly am sorry. So over multiple instances and years, I've learned to become comfortable with approaching those people and attempting to come clean about all that I've done and apologize to them, to some mixed success.
  

• Here I am now at 24. Despite all of my best efforts, I haven't been able to apologize to everyone I've wronged, and I haven't been able to find closure. I try not to feel sorry for myself, but time and again I have slipped up and fell into a pit. I am making this post because I don't want to live a life of sorrow anymore.
  

1. I'm sorry for pushing my wicked sense of loyalty and friendship on you all.
   
2. I'm sorry for barging in and using fed information to make baseless unfair assumptions about you all without bothering to get to know you.
   
3. I'm sorry for believing in any of you to be "villains". It's terrible to even think that anyone could honestly be "hero" or "villain", though I would call myself "evil". Evil is chosen by the person, not for the person.
   
4. I'm sorry for trying to manipulate all of you into doing or thinking things that you did not want to do or think.
   
5. I'm sorry for making a multitude of promises with the intention of breaking them.
   
6. I'm sorry for trying to inflame the friendships/relationships held between you and for pretending that I knew about any of the things that went on between you.
   
7. I'm sorry for being a terrible person in general and for being an awful cretin with awful things to say.
   
8. I'm sorry for pretending to be someone else in order to skirt around the wall you had built up to keep me out. 
   
9. I'm sorry for trying to stay involved in your lives for so long and rubbing salt in the wounds that were already forcefully being healed out of place. Wounds forced to heal out of place never go away.
   
10. I'm sorry for being quiet about the evil that was still happening in your lives when I had already decided to stop committing evil.
    
11. I'm sorry for all of the damage that I caused in all of your lives.
    

1. I promise to be better to the people I meet in the future.
   
2. I promise to never speak about people I've never met as if I have.
   
3. I promise to no longer assume anything about you, or about what is "good for you".
   
4. I promise to never manipulate people in that way ever again.
   
5. I promise to never enable evil ever again.
   
6. I promise to never throw any vitriol, warranted or not, to anyone ever again.
   
7. I promise to stop negatively affecting your future. (In my pursuit of closure, I have inadvertently come very close to breaking this promise already. I'm sorry that I have caused turmoil in this way.)
   
8. I promise to keep these promises to the best of my ability.
   

test af

Host of Styler of the month for 2 years on JV2 (June 2019- April 2021)
part of Styler and Racer of the week judging/level creation for until the contests retired. (July 2013- August 2014)
Judge for Sanzep's PR3DC (wayback machine doesn't anything saved, so here is a link to history of contests, which it shows it being a thing also won my crocidile set from this!)
Hosted a Trap tournament in 2020 as an idea from the others doing trap contests in the past (it was success and thanks to the help of my spectators and the staff of the Legend Trappers community, it became a yearly thing or atleast did for some time now.)
Creator of the Saved Accounts Tab (February 2019 that was added to the game in November 2020)
won Painter of the Month (October 2020 Also won Painter of the week back in 2013, wayback machine cannot back it up, but my account has bubble to show.)
won Campaign of the Month a whopping 10+ times! (Round 16, Round 22, Round 25, Round 42, Round 43, Round 44, Round 53, Round 55, Round 57, and Round 62)
Folded 100M F@H Points with an outdated graphics card! (GTX 1160 ti)
Beta Testerv160 since June 2020
was apart of TRUC's Don't Move Collab (May 2020)
inspired by Kongregate's Badge challenges, i thought of an ambitious idea that has everyone supporting, PR2 Challenges w/Rewards. (September 2019, more ideas in 2024 as pr2 has been updated with newer stuff.)

Currently working on progress with T&E to make more points, currently have 12 points. will keep updated.

GOALS: (for the future )
FIND ARTIEFACT FIRST IN THE LEVEL OF THE WEEK
TRY MY HARDEST TO GET BREW SET FROM T&E (96 POINTS)
START MY GGP RUNS 
MAKE A LEVEL AND IMPROVE IT TO BE THE LEVEL OF THE WEEK 
LEVEL UP RANK 63 > 64
GET MY PR2 ACCOUNT Verified 
GET INTO HALL OF FAME

Welcome to Round 68 of Campaign of the Month!

You'll be able to submit your Campaigns on this thread.
Additionally, if you have any levels you'd like to advertise, you can post them here too.

I mentioned it in a thread, but I thought I'd expand upon it in a blog.

Zack and I broke up on July 28th. We were together a little over a year. I felt like the relationship was going really well up until late May. That's when I returned from visiting him at a convention. He wanted more free time to himself, and I wanted someone who could be there for me. We just weren't compatible at that point, but I tried to make it work because I still loved him. I think he realized the pressure I was putting on him, cause he broke it off. After he broke it off, I asked if we could stay friends. He agreed, but still, I was too emotional. At this point, I'm not sure if a friendship would work. I'm don't know if Zack will read this, but I truly am sorry for how I handled things at the end. I wish him nothing but the best.

Anyway, this whole thing has put quite the toll on my mental health. I went to the hospital twice due to panic attacks. I am underweight due to loss of appetite. I got prescribed 2 different anxiety medications, and I'm getting a referral to see a therapist in 2 weeks. If you're wondering why I've been so absent on PR2 and Discord, this is why. I haven't really felt like doing anything. At this point, I'm just hanging in there until my mental health can improve, so I can get things back to feeling normal.

Thanks for reading, have a wonderful day

I'm going to the upcoming Miku Expo in Melbourne! This is the first time Miku has ever "toured" Australia and New Zealand (and also my first time going to a proper concert), so I'm pretty excited. Actually, things seem to have worked out really nicely, since I was also invited to a 2-week mathematical physics research program in Victoria around the same time as the concert, which will cover stuff like accommodation and so on. I really like the key visual for this expo too:

   

Jester Hat

Double tap up to cycle between an extra available item slot.

- Useful utility in regular races, pulling out surprises is on brand for a Jester.
- Picking up more Jester Hats can give you even more item slots.
- Optional limitation: replace control scheme, double tap down while touching a block to cycle - makes it harder to pass over-top level obstacles.

Fedora Hat

When your moonwalk ends, quickly return to where it began. Hold backwards while running to moonwalk.

- Its effectiveness is limited by the movement direction lockout imposed by moonwalking. It offers an alternative path when backtracking is not favourable.
- Moonwalking itself (from PR2) should be in the game because it offers more analog movement with no downside - helpful for fine-tuning landings.
- In PR2, moon-walking basically stops your acceleration in a direction when you hold backwards. And it appears like you are running backwards (like the moonwalk dance popularized by MJ)
- Moonwalk return effect would visually appear like you are quickly running forward over your path. Like a Tracer recall from Overwatch

Box Hat (alternative: Pet Rock)

Ledges are wider and fast-falls are faster.

- Make the game feel a tad more like PR3.
- Holding down gives a stronger fast-fall. Ledges are very easy to land on and can be jumped off with precision.

Fez Hat

Double tap horizontally to dash. Refills when charging super-jumps.

- Useful for getting overs gaps or quick turn-arounds.
- Charge meter is filled up when charging a super-jump.

Beanie Hat

Touch the side of a block to warp on-top of it.

- Works when there is water or air ontop of a block.
- Can be used to seamlessly run up one high staircases.
- Can get up to ledges more easily.

Trapper Hat

Gain increased control over movement at low speeds.

Hello. I combined things in this video that I would like to see in Platform Racing 4. Some of these are my own suggestions and some are from the others.

The "gameplay demo" you see in the video is made by me, and made just to demonstrate how these would work in the actual game. All this was done in one day, so not everything is perfect.

I'm not going to write in this post everything I would like for the game. All things are listed in the description of the video, and explained precisely in the video itself, however, not all of the ideas have a demonstration video made.

I might make a new/updated version of this video if I get new ideas.